Be calm…In everyday life you will encounter situations that creates a reaction inside you, and you’re going to react outside of you and it’s creating that pause between something that has happened to you and how you respond to it, that is ultimately going to control your destiny.
Most of the time people who react un-mindfully or without being aware, have instant reactions, if they are angry they react and there is a chain reaction that happens so fast that if you actually become aware of it you can slow it down and create more space between what may have caused a certain emotion or feeling and then caused a certain thought in your mind, and then caused a certain behavior in your external environment.
If you can actually slow down this process, note the cause, be calm, note how you feel, create a pause between that stimulus and your response you will have more control over your environment and your reactions to future stimuli.
How do you create a space between that stimulus and response?
You have to hold your mind, be calm first of all, because it will want to act instantly.
One way is by your breath. After something happens to you, before you react, you could use your breath as a tool to slow your feelings down, you have to take a deep breath because if you accelerate your breath, your angry takes control, so after a few breaths, will allow you the necessary time to choose your response.
Another way is to be aware.
Be aware of the potential causes, that produce the emotions or the feeling you experienced, that caused certain thoughts, the images that formed in your mind, and before you take action on those, have that space available for that awareness, noticing that change of events that occurred and chose your response. Stay calm and notice if what you imagine in your mind is a healthy, constructive thought or a damaging, destructive thought. Think which actions you are about to do and chose your response on a positive, healthy, constructive side and avoid those that are damaging and destructive. But first you have to create that space with breath be calm and observe, take an effort to be aware as many times as possible and then chose your response.
Another tips are:
- First thing, and most important is to notice and accept you have a problem.
- Avoid the factors which weaken your self control.
- Leave environments that can activate your anger.
- Recognize craving while it’s just started and it’s easily to control it.
- Observe craving passively with no reaction. Be just a relaxed observer.
- Try motivating yourself by analyzing the advantages of abstinence.
- Remember positive examples.
- Stay calm! Stop your automatic behavior.
- Stop and think!
There are also some minerals and vitamins or nutrients that may improve and helps you stay calm and getting self-control of your reactions, of your behavior. You could use B1 vitamins, that helps conducting the nerves impulse, the form of serotonin (the happy hormone), adrenaline (the energy hormone) and other neurotransmitters. Folic acid, vitamin C also help in releasing the stress component from your brain and life by working on concentration, depression and energy of the organism.
Another approach is to get some magnesium, selenium, zinc, calcium supplements that are tonics for your organism so it eventually help your way of thinking and your behavior on stressing situations and in the end on your self-control.